Curse of the Ex-Husband

us-togetherWhen you get married it is supposed to be forever, so I thought. One day I met a man who was a bit older than myself, like double digits older than me. We hit it off pretty good and we knew how to make each other laugh. We spent some time together and had a little fun and I thought I had made a new friend. Well, he came around quite a bit and the more time we spent the closer we became. It had gotten to the point one day I had run low on food and needed some help with groceries. I called him up and he came over to take me to get some food.

It was a beautiful day with the sun shining and a cool breeze. I remember that day so vividly. We went to my favorite Mexican food joint and I loaded up on some food to fill my stomach then and some for later. He took me back to my place and we spent a few minutes together before he had to leave. I hated to see him go but he had to get ready for work. So, I saw him off and went back inside to get some rest.

We had been seeing each other off and on and I thought we were getting to know each other. Nope, it wasn’t happening. It came to a day where I had gone away for a few months and he wrote me and kept in touch. He had such a sense of humor that I liked even when he was being sexually frisky. Yet, he was there pretty much most of the time.

While I was away, he wrote me many letters. Some were of how much he missed me, and some were just downright kinky. But they brought a smile to my face. It wasn’t until about a few weeks before I was to get home that he stopped writing me and everything. At first, I thought maybe I did something wrong, or that he found someone else but I tried to keep my hope and spirits up. The day before I was to go home, I finally got a letter from him telling me he will be there to greet me. That brought a smile to my face and gave me a sense of someone wanting me.

The day I got home, he was there with a rose and a bottle of my favorite soda, along with a huge hug. He hugged me so hard and long I think I was going to stop breathing. Once he released me, he asked me to come home with him. I was a little skeptical at first but I decided to take a chance anyway. So, he opened the car door for me and allowed me to get in before closing it back. He lived about thirty minutes from my house in another suburb of the city we lived in.

Once we pulled into this old looking motel, we were greeted by his female neighbor which gave me a bad feeling in my gut. I guess it was the way they looked at each other or the way she looked at me. We stood there doing the introductions and chatting for a bit before heading inside his motel room. I still didn’t like the way she looked at me while we walked inside but didn’t give it another thought once the door was closed.

He immediately gave me another hug and kissed me. We sat down and began talking afterward. We got to know each other a little better before it was all about how freaky and kinky we could get. Sex was amazing but his ego about it was very large. I stayed for about three days locked inside that room completely naked and had the time of my life. It was afterward and a few days later when talking with the female next door that he had asked her to marry him. It floored me for a minute, but it was time to confront him about it.

Her and I both went to him and we talked about what happened between the two of them and it hit me why he stopped writing me. It was because of her and their relationship. I had gotten so mad at him that I left. I stayed away for about fifty-one days with no contact with him trying to figure out why he was like all the rest of the guys that used to be in my life. After so many days  We finally broke the silence and talked and then he came to get me. Once we were back at his place we talked some more and finally worked things out.

I ended up moving in with him and starting out fresh, all of this while maintaining a friendship with her because it wasn’t all her fault. She was a victim in his charade too. Then, I got to find out that his ex-wife was living seven doors down and then we had a conversation about that as well. I didn’t see that he needed someone to help him, but I tried. After a few months went by we got married and started a very new life together. I was working at the college down the street when he came to pick me up and we headed for the courthouse.

Once the nuptials were completed and we were pronounced man and wife he began crying he was so happy. I knew he was sensitive and everything but this should have been a warning sign that I didn’t catch on too. We were man and wife and everyone showed that they were happy for us but I did find it odd that the ex-wife told me she was glad and now he will stop bothering her. Another sign I didn’t catch on too.

We were happy and things were getting easier until the day came that he wanted to move up north where he was born. I had thought about it and it would give me a different scenery and away from the ex and the female neighbor. I thought so anyway until it was told to me that the ex-wife was moving up there too and in with one of her old friends. This was going to make for an adventurous ride for twenty-four hours.

We all got packed up and everything into the rental car and headed for the interstate. We drove half way up and it was getting dark so we stopped into a hotel for the night sharing the same room with the ex-wife. It was disturbing how he wanted to have sex, with her in the next bed. Another warning sign overlooked.

The next morning, we got up, got dressed, had coffee, and were back on the interstate. It was such a beautiful scenery that it engulfed my mind and attention. Once we crossed over into the state he was from, I knew that it wouldn’t be long before we were there. We finally stopped at the exes friends house where we also stayed the night. My husband at the time wanted to find his family and the search began the next day. He must have called several different numbers before finding his sister who was only about five minutes away, so we took a ride over to her house.

They were finally reunited after so many years and it was a happy reunion for both of them. I was introduced to his sister and her family before we ended up staying with her. She was just a couple years younger than me and we seem to hit it off good. We stayed there for a couple of months working day labor employment until we were able to rent the apartment above hers. The landlord was pretty nice and we worked out a deal to move in and we began a new life again in a new place.

I found a better job as a tax preparer and it was bringing in some good money while he worked the day labor employment. Every night when I was coming home from work, he would meet me at the bus stop to walk me home especially when there was snow on the ground. After so many knee surgeries, my knees were still unstable and I almost slip and fall on the ice everytime. Once home he would have coffee or hot chocolate ready to warm me up because it did get pretty cold up there in the winter.

After so long, I did start noticing he was becoming depressed or something because he stopped helping out around the house while I worked. I would work all day and then have to come home to clean the house, do the cooking, wash the clothes, and anything else that had to be done. I spoke with his sister a few times and she even noticed it too. After so long and all the arguments, I finally left and went back down south to my old stomping grounds.

He showed up not long afterward and we reunited and then I found out the ex-wife moved back down too. There we were a happy family all over again. What really got to me was whenever he spoke to his ex-wife, he called her mother. Hint, hint, another sign I never saw coming. We ended up moving in with her into her new house until we could get back on our feet again. But before moving in with her, we were living at an RV resort where I eventually got a job there which paid our lot rent.

I think that when the owner asked me to work for them and not my husband it did something to him mentally. We started having our arguments and fights, and then he started showing signs of being controlling until one day I said “no more”. I kicked him out and told him I couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t leave on good terms and I was called every name in the book mainly because most of my friends were men and he knew this from the beginning. I have always had a hard time with other females.

After he left, I continued to work there and found a male friend to hang out with. He knew I was hanging out with this guy and that made things worse. My husband didn’t believe in a separation and caused all kinds of havoc because he thought that I was cheating on him because we were still married. I had tried to explain it to him until we were arguing again every time. Well, let’s just say that he finally left and moved back in with his ex-wife.

Eventually, my employment terminated because of the resort being sold to someone else and I ended up moving back in with my husband and his ex-wife. It was okay for awhile until my unemployment kicked in and we were able to find our own place. When we moved it was to what used to be an old hotel turned into condos/ offices. We lived in the back section which they called condos.

When the owner found out that I was researching on opening a nonprofit for the homeless he had given me one of the offices. Myself with another girl began setting things up in this new office and I knew as well as my husband that it would be long days of working to get things situated and running. He didn’t care too much for that because at five o’clock he was at the office door telling me it was time to close up and come home.The arguments started all over again because he wanted me to come home so that he could go to sleep. It was a strain until I finally helped him get his disability so that he could help pay the bills.

After so many arguments and it stressing me out to where I couldn’t think straight to work on the nonprofit, I told him it was over and again he went off. I ended up having to get a restraining order out on him because he started threatening my life and the lives of anyone around me. He couldn’t grasp the concept of why I got a restraining order but it didn’t stop him from harassing me. I finally filed for divorce and that threw him into a cycle of destruction because he wanted the attention and for someone to take care of him.

After the divorce was final, he still managed to harass me, even when he had prostitutes living with him. I was his focal point and he did whatever he could to try to get me to come back to him. I wanted to remain his friend but he didn’t want that. His tone then turned to threatening me again and it became too much for me. I even spent a lot of time setting up a national charity walk for which I was going to walk across the United States to raise awareness for the homeless population. I got half way across to Texas before my treasurer went down with an illness which took her life back in two thousand and fifteen. It was traumatic for me because I had just spoken to her a week before she died. I disappeared for a little while to regroup and make things happen for the nonprofit. Everything was going smoothly until we hit a roadblock financially. So for the rest of the year, we had limited services because I was funding the project off of my own money.

My ex-husband and I finally called a truce and tried to become friends. It lasted a little while until I found a distant relative one state up from where we were. She invited me to come stay with her and so my ex-husband moved me up there and he ended up staying as well. I felt bad for him because he was needy and it seemed like he couldn’t live life on his own. After a few months, I finally found a place of my own which wasn’t that great but it was out of my relatives house and it gave me some space from the ex-husband.

I was on my own and started dating someone, when low and behold my ex-husband got thrown out of my relative’s house. He stayed with me for a couple weeks before we could get him into his own trailer on the property. He stayed for a few months before heading back down south to be with his ex-wife before me and his kid. I had been on my own for a couple of years until I married a mutual person that my ex-husband and I knew. Let’s just say that my ex-husband and his ex-girlfriend caused quite a stir and with all the threats of how we need to get our marriage annulled. It became a fiasco there for awhile with all the threatening phone calls, the mean emails, it was something to see.

We have just celebrated our third year anniversary back in October and we still feel like we are on the honeymoon happy and content. Every day is an adventure with one another. It still makes the exes fume and it seems like every year it starts all over again. My ex-husband has since remarried, but get this, they got married the day after our wedding anniversary. Whenever something bad happens in his relationships, I am the cause and he starts crap with me all over again. It is just too funny.

I told my husband, who loves me dearly, that we must be a powerful force since no one wants to see us together. It seems like all hell breaks loose when I post pictures of us online and share how happy we are. In all, it has been a crazy ride and I have found my soulmate and we live happily ever after, sometimes with the reminder of the curse of the ex-husband.



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